Music to Mel

Along with writing, I am going to try to post a song a day, for however long to my best friend Melissa. My blog has become open therapy in trying to deal with the sudden, unexpected, violent, traumatic death She had. I can’t say if I had to do it all over, I would do anything different, as hard as it was to be part of. It’s like I said to her, when she saw was I was there…

Her face scrunched up, she got red, her eyes filled with tears and spilled down her round cheeks and her mouth tightened on the respirator and feeding tube. It upset her to have me see her that way, but I know those tears were because I loved her enough to go when I got the call that she had, had a stroke. As she cried, I just leaned in and said, “No, no, no, no. Babe? Where else would I be?” That seemed to calm her. I calmed her. I know, that I was good for her to have there and I know, she would have fought just as hard for me.

Here is today’s song, plus a bonus song that absolutely wrecked me the first time I really heard it after she died.

1) Keb Mo Don’t try to explain

2) Evanescence My Immortal

3) Louis Armstrong What a wonderful world (One of her faves)

4) Oingo Boingo Out of control

5) Peter Gabriel (Ft Kate Bush) Don’t give up

6) Alanis Morrisette Ironic

7) Christina Aguillera Beautiful

8) Jason Mraz Bella Luna

9) Johnny Cash Hurt

10) Yazoo Only You

11) Sade And I miss you

12) Kate Bush Hounds of Love

13) Ace of Bass The Sign

14) Split Enz I Got You

15) James Moving On

And then I see this, five months after you have died (5 mo and 8 days) and wow! This was sort of like what it was like to watch you go.

16) Death Cab for Cutie – I Will Follow You Into the Dark

17) Everclear – Brown Eyed Girl

18) Miranda Lambert – Smokin and Drinkin

19) Foo Fighters – Best of You

20) Foo Fighters – Walking After You

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