A Place to Call My Own

I did it.

All mine. The responsibilities and the freedoms. I’m having the boys over for Christmas. It is so weird knowing that I say the boys, knowing you know I mean two of your boys. I’ll never forget TXR, even though he will me. I know he will remember his siblings.

Christmas is coming, like it or not. I’d rather not sink. I’d like to believe you’d rather I not sink. All of the pain and sadness will never go away, but I am willing to lean into my new reality and forge the next phase.

There is no Mr. Y and I am so very OK with that. I had to know and now… I do. I wish him well, resent his actions and love him anyway. From afar, like I am supposed to. He was the best and the worst and so was I.

Mom is coming over later. I’m going to make her dinner. I miss you and love you.

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