In two days, your memorial happens.
I sat at your bedside for eleven days. I said so many things, told you how loved you were, took a list in with me the last night I saw you to say every last thing I could think of saying and I still feel like I haven’t said goodbye.
At the time I remember saying I’d never say goodbye because you’ll always be with me. I feel like I’ll be going to watch other people say goodbye, but my heart knows in some way, I’ve got to say a kind of letting go goodbye. You will still always be with me, but I’m going to have to cut a cord or something. I don’t feel like I’ll ever have closure or peace, but I’m desperately craving and seeking both.