The night of my last post, the post about Universe telling me to this is my chance, Mr. Yummy popped a movie in and we watched.

He had no idea what the movie was about, nor did I. I may not have watched as it was. I feel as lost as Ms. Strayed. It took everything I had, not to fall apart during the movie. SO many parts of her are how I am feeling about losing Mel.

She was one of the great loves of my life, and I have lost her. I had 25 great years being her best friend, but I have lost her, too soon, too violently, too tragically. My love, my love, how I miss you through all my anger and rage.

I’ve cried so many tears over you and there are more to come. They come easily. They silently flow. Maybe they will never end, but I hope to find the peace that came at the end of the trail.

Though I don’t plan on an 1100 mile walk, nor shooting heroin, nor fucking any guy who looks at me, I am as lost as if I were.


It sounds so foreign on my tongue, yet I want it so badly.

Isn’t it ironic, I hear the Universe say, “Stay, this is your chance not to run” and then Mr. Yummy plays this movie. If you’re grieving, maybe you will find something in this movie like I did.


About iwentcrazy

I am very, very, very average. And very, very, very lucky.

Posted on March 27, 2015, in Death and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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