I couldn’t just get sick, and I couldn’t just grieve. I had to try to do both at once.
I like my new doctor. She listened to me, but then again, she is an ND. I am on antibiotics for infection. I didn’t get the flu, and I didn’t get just a cold. I went and spent 11 days in Texas watching my best friend walk her final road, in the physical world and it took everything and then some out of me. Basically, Mel dying, infected me.
We talked about the concerns I have had for a few years. She is going looking for the results on lab work, from the doctor who did not get back to me with results, when I did try to address a few things. She agrees I am through menopause now and may remove my IUD. She agrees that Armor Thyroid is preferable. She gave me a few other resources for depression and grieving. She did ask me to ask Mr. Y to lock any unlocked guns up, but I’m not going to. We both agreed that this is more situational and though I may never completely get over losing Mel, it is very, very raw right now, and time will ease that somehow.
I go back in next week for follow-up and to address a few things we didn’t get to yesterday.
I am to continue writing. I talked to a friend today who has made a living at writing and got some advice from him. Something is happening.
I am still mourning, but I feel like I am starting to control it, instead of it controlling me.
Sometimes though…it still takes my very breath away that she is gone.
Posted on January 27, 2015, in Honey Bee, Love, Menopause, Rabbit Hole, Relationships and tagged depression, I has a sad in my heart, Love, Mel, my best friend. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.