If It’s Happy…
It “aint” bad.
That is why I love tears of joy and happiness.
When they come, I let them flow without trying to stop them.
I let them flow and I fall into the joy. It feels good to cry intense tears of happiness/love/joy.
Before I went crazy, I use to cry a lot. Those tears were not happy. Those tears were draining and soul sucking. All I felt was sadness.
The way I look at it, I couldn’t stop the bad ones, so why should I stop the good ones? They do so much more for me. Yesterday was a joyful tear day. My heart literally sings when I get caught up in so much happiness. There is always a connection to the Universe at these moments. My ability to help orchestrate good is validated.
The very VERY best part of all of this, is that I got here BEFORE I went calling for Him ( I really need to find a suitable blog name for him.) I did this thing on my own. Does he rush me the fuck off the face of the Earth? Oh yeah! But it just makes everything I have already done so much sweeter. He intensifies the things I already know. I do wonder what his reaction will be though the first time he realizes I cry when I am happy. My sad tears used to tear him up because he felt there was nothing he could do. He had to just watch me disappear into my sadness. I imagine the first time he sees it, it will make him uncomfortable, but in the event it happens, he will see a smile and that I don’t go away.
Again, today…I am grateful for the life I am living.