I met a man in late 1999 and by 2000, we were in love and living together. The only problem was that we were both really damaged souls, fresh from our traumas. The fact that this man was able to cut through any of that at all and I was able to be happy for a while says a lot about him as a man and a lover to me.
Since then, no man has been able to fill his shoes. I know it is wrong, but the three relationships I have had since him, were all compared to him and they all failed miserably. The fact that someone left me feeling so loved, is a testimony to where and how he touched me…down deep in my soul. He touched me in a place, no other person…man or woman had ever done. He touched me in a place that left other touches, sort of hollow and incomplete.
I’ve chased him for years. I send him little notes and he would reply, but he never felt receptive to me. He just didn’t realize I was saying,”I miss you and want to see you.”
About a month ago I sent him my phone number and we have been talking for about two weeks now. Last night we went on a date and it was apparent from first glance at thirty feet, he still pulls me in.
We talked for about three hours, hardly eating and touching one another often. His hands still make me want to scream. They are so beautiful and the ones that started what can only be called my hand fetish. Everything about him captivates me and pulls me into him. I sat across the table from him fighting the urge to reach over and touch his face and his lower ear lobe and told him as much after HE reached over and touched my cheek and said he thought I was still cute as a button.
I told him I want to see him again and asked if that could happen. He said he would like that.
At the end of our time together we kissed one another on the cheek (I told him I was not sure if I was incubating a cold) and he threw caution to the wind, and kissed me. That old chemistry is still there. I swooned and buckled at my knees, and watched him do the same. I am terribly excited to see what will become of us if it is still that intense all these years later, and we are both happy with the people we have become.
I did wake up sick, but I also woke up with the warmest feeling in my heart.
I am grateful to have learned to actually speak up about the specifics of what I want in my life because, Universe does respond.