That thing I do…for a living

bees

The last year plus, I have been miserable at work. I have tried and tried to be flexible and accommodating, but wound up feeling taken advantage of and bullied.

The last month and a half, it has gotten worse. It almost seemed like my boss thinks she has me by the balls now that I have moved out of mom’s and NEED the employment.

It stewed and stewed and over the last five days, I totally forced things to a head by my inability to feel bullied anymore.

I have lived in a very narrow range of acceptable the last two years. Even the shit, I have looked at in the best possible light, but this situation forced my hand and I lost my ability to be non-judgmental and forgiving. I lost my ability to be detached enough to not jump in and play the game.

This morning we had a two-hour fight. It was brutal, but I actually got her to own some stuff and I didn’t get fired. I can’t wait though to find something else.

My truest, truest desire…the thing that will bring me a sense of doing something that matters, is to start bee-keeping. I am serious! I know very little about bee-keeping, but that is what I want to do. That is what brings passion .

I am currently looking at one job making beeswax products. I will be so thrilled when this happens.

I did good. Sometimes I guess you have to put the gloves back on and duke it out. It was good to stand up for myself. It was good to get quiet each time I was told to stop interrupting, and then speak up again as soon as she started to speak. I needed her to see herself in a manner that I see her and I needed to be defiant and stand my ground.

I am glad today is over. I’m asking Universe to bring me closer to the bees though.

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About iwentcrazy

I am very, very, very average. And very, very, very lucky.

Posted on May 21, 2013, in Universe and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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