Dear Me,

yellow-feather-blackbackground

I just want to tell you how happy I am we found one another again. I missed the part of you that left so many years ago. I understand why you hid yourself for so many years, protecting so fiercely the me I would need again.

I became so many people. I had so many incarnations on this Earth, in this body. I didn’t see how fractured I was. I didn’t even acknowledge them, the fractured bits of me, that each came to function on my behalf when I couldn’t. And I couldn’t a lot.

Disconnecting probably saved my life, while only damn near killing me. I just never believed or KNEW without question, that I could protect myself and survive. I never dreamed or KNEW that without question, I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. I never hoped or KNEW that I could feel such peace through forgiveness. I never realized and never KNEW that through my forgiveness, I would find such love.

I can still see the vision of my 48-year-old me greeting the 17-year-old me again and embracing one another, without prejudice and with absolute gratitude and love, but I didn’t realize or KNOW, that is what we were doing.

I was wearing a white summer dress, sitting on a curb, waiting for me to come back. Waiting and waiting and waiting for what seemed like forever. I offered you our hand and you accepted. You stood and we embraced. We embraced so long and so hard, we melted back into one another and we became me again.

The void went away. The hole became full. The cold became warm again.

I have taken a yellow feather and tied it, with a strand of leather into “our” hair, never to lose my way home again.

Without prejudice,

With absolute gratitude and love,

Me

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About iwentcrazy

I am very, very, very average. And very, very, very lucky.

Posted on April 1, 2013, in Crazy, God, Me, Musica!, Universe and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. a beautiful possibility beautifully expressed

  2. Thank you.
    For some reason, it is ramping up in me again and I am riding a wave.
    I love it when this happens and I feel so full of life, like it just flows so naturally.
    The experience continues.

  3. You know, it was probably a bout 2 or three months ago, I was going through the same thing. I was trying to explain it to a friend of mine, and he too used that word.
    Maybe there is something to it because you both used the same word to describe the same emotion and situation.
    Whatever it is, I am in love with it.

  4. I regret putting that word “grace” into the discussion, please delete it. Your own words were perfect with no additions.

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