My Struggles with God (big shock, it’s religion!)

It is not that I dislike God, or the idea of God.

Creation, is a thing of beauty.

The bible says we are created in God’s image. Some people, feel that this fits the image and cannot think of God without “him” being in human form, so creation would look sort of like this:


I have a problem seeing God this way. Mostly because I don’t believe in what main-stream-for-profit religion is trying to teach sell us. My issue is that good people, who just want to do what’s good and right, have been manipulated by some pretty smart, yet unscrupulous persons who saw what a tool religion could be.

We can use it to divide and conquer!

I see division with for profit religion. I see fear, hate, submission of will and thought. Why would God want to control creation? I think God would encourage his creations to create. He would get the fuck off on a bunch of co-creators exponentially creating! What a legacy that would be.

Do you really think God or Source, as I am more comfortable saying and still cling to as my primary name, really wants us out there pushing love like this?

God-No-Longer-Hates-FagsSeriously? This is hate, and if you go to any kind of church that promotes, condones, or uses this type of divisional tactic, you are being manipulated and used. You are masses being divided. Their holy water, has been poisoned the minute you anoint it with hate. It’s not always about the gay issue. You know…any other religion that isn’t Christian is suspect. As are people from other countries, people who are not the same color as us, people who live differently than those in the for profit and consumerism industry of God. And we shall stomp them with our boots, give them small pox blankets, or just reign war down on them.

Do you feel me? Get what I am saying?

When I think of God and creation, I think of something more like this:

1147990_f260I see the energy, the dust and magical “mojo” that has gone into each and every one of us.

There isn’t a lot to say to that really. It’s just what I feel and believe. I don’t accept the human hand version of God. But you are free to.

If what I see as Creation, God, Source…whatever you call it created us to be in the same image, and if we are all co-creators, then I also see Creation as this:

originalIs it blaspheme for me to insinuate that this could be part of Source creation? I don’t think so. I think the act and moment of creation itself is the image of God.

That last image is an embryo, prior to the act of fertilization, which can’t happen without XX and XY input.

I don’t feel it is wrong to insinuate, I have functioned as a creator. I had help. I didn’t do it alone. But I did create. God has touched me.

It’s too bad for profit religion has sullied the name for so many of us. We have had to seek out and find new terms. Well I think my last two years have been about reclaiming God. It’s kind of like how women reclaimed the word bitch, or LGBT reclaimed queer, or how African-Americans (I dislike that name as much as I dislike the name Native American) reclaimed the N word.

I’m taking God back. A deity deserves more than to be used as a tool of division. It is a personal relationship. It is more personal than any relationship I have had with a lover. So why would anyone have the right to stick their nose in it and tell me how to get it right? If I am communing with a divine being, who am I to believe, the Divine, or the for profit business who would be happy if I shit my pants with fear and let them guide my energy?

I write this without prejudice. If I have offended my creator, I will be held accountable and the liability of my words will be mine. I will continue to operate from a space of absolute gratitude and love.

Have a nice weekend!


About iwentcrazy

I am very, very, very average. And very, very, very lucky.

Posted on March 29, 2013, in God, Me, Relationships, Source, Universe and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. People would rather talk theories about God and the stars than about our own integrity and where it is missing. We tolerate 15 million children die unnecessarily each year of illnesses related to malnutrition. There is a long list of things we would rather not talk about and instead talk about “God” and the stars.

    I am guessing that if we ALL restored our integrity as a community, ended hunger and unnecessary wars and everything in between, we MIGHT at some point in the future be in a position to have a conversation re: God and the stars.

    • I see your point. However, in my life…I’ve never wanted to talk about God so for me, it is good to come to terms with what I feel about my relationship with my creator.

  2. I would add, that if we were to talk about the God we ACTUALLY worshipped in every day practice and not just gave lip service to, it would have to be:

    the ~God of $~
    the ~God of our own personal survival~

    I do not see too many people, if any at all, acting from any sense of gratitude for having been created or allowed to be here. I do see a mob of ants stepping all over each other at every opportunity to get their share of praise, acknowledgement, attention or $.

  3. I have never worshiped money, though I have chased it.
    Because I have been so disconnected from my creator, I never looked to God for my own personal survival.
    Though I am grateful for the creation of me, I don’t know that I was “allowed” to be here, but more feel that I agreed to be here.
    I see the same ant mob you do, but try to find my praise and acknowledgment from Universe both within myself and outside of my self.
    I think if people got that you are not more valuable than me, and I am not more valuable than you, we might start seeing things differently.
    I’m young on this part of my journey though so I could be very, very wrong.

  4. this is brilliant: “I think if people got that you are not more valuable than me, and I am not more valuable than you, we might start seeing things differently”, well said

  5. I’ve been told, I am too idealstic.

  6. “told” by nobel winning professors with PhDs in “idealism” and “dyslexicism” no doubt 🙂

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