We “broke up”.

Part of me wants to giggle, because I feel so different about this than I ever have before.

Since October, I have felt nothing but confusion and negativity emanating from him. It made me feel…nervous. Still, I opted not to “deal” with my emotion that was a response to him, in the same old ways I have before.

Last night when we talked on the phone, it was just too “back to normal”, like nothing happened. I heard too much fear and denial. I was hurt that I was realizing I finally saw his bubble. I AM clear however, that it is his bubble.

The part of me that has not evolved, wants to call him a coward. The part of me tuned into the cycle of trauma so many people are still trapped in, understands his fear and his inability to know he can BE. I get he doesn’t see his ability. I also realize this is a chance for me to participate further in the drama sprawled out in front of me, and I opt to pass. I still love him, but I am not stuck in his inability to question.

I feel a weight lifted in a way.


About iwentcrazy

I am very, very, very average. And very, very, very lucky.

Posted on March 11, 2013, in Me, Relationships and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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