I knew I still loved the man from yesteryear, I knew I would fall in love with the man of today. I did not know, it would be this intense. He is the one. I’ll take this body’s last breath, and my love for him will not be lost. It has and will live forever.
He makes my eyes water, my heart weep, and my body becomes something I didn’t know I was capable of being with another person.
I have only been “blessed” twice in this life. He is one of the two.
50, and life is good.
Thank you Universe, and thank you to me, for finally getting out of my own way.
Months ago, I said I hoped to be able to tell you what was going on. I still can’t. I’m just checking in, but blogging from one’s phone is never fun.
This morning, for the first time ever, instead of privately; on my public blog, musing away about him, I sent him the words I don’t have to describe what he encourages in me! Guess I am feeling brave.
Captivate me. I can be lost in the moments of us together, then suddenly, there is his face, hovering over me and his eyes staring into mine, my face in his hands and his in mine. He almost looks like he hurts as I read the burning curiosity in his eyes of, “What do you need?”
He never lets me stop and give up on getting mine. Last night he looked at me and said, “Oh no, I’m not stopping, not for a long time till I get out of you, what I want to pull out of you.”
Then I just get lost in us. It’s a flash of lips, mouths, tongues, sweat, fingers, breath, moans, groans and all the feelings he brings out of me at once. When I come back from that place, I am surprised my head is here, the blankets are there, and there are tears in my eyes.
I’ve never known a man who when he is with me, gives as much, selfishly, as he does.
He’s humble, but confident, and I love this about him. He can’t take a compliment for shit, unless it’s veiled in sarcasm, and I totally understand, why no one else has ever been able to do it for me. In being him, that yummy ball of sweet ocean, he set a bar high, very high, no one else has ever been able to reach it.
I still love him. I’ve been writing about him, of him, and to him for fifteen years now.
Why am I over-thinking life?
Why am I seeing things with fear?
I am thinking that tonight would be the perfect time to take that next assisted spiritual step, but I’m still on medications.
So, not tonight, but at least I can reign it in back to centered.