And I am awake and crying, because I love my life and the people in it.
Last night…or what was Thursday night, I stayed at Mr. Yummy’s house. I watched the remake of True Grit (EXCELLENT MOVIE!!!), he made me dinner, and then we played an amazing game of Shag and Gag. HAHAHAHAHA, yes, I just typed that and although I won’t go into details he and I are amazing.
We ALWAYS had that. We were always good there. He’s the only guy who can consistently make me feel so beautiful in the intimacy we share. He pushes me to really great places, and since we first came together in 2000, we are even better.
I am so thankful that I will never be the person I was in my past. I am so thankful that I learned to be happy with me, before we started seeing one another again. I know that I will love him till this body takes her last breath. I have always loved him, and I have always been “his”. This thing I feel for him, transcends marriage, but I am his in every way that the state and church can never touch. Does that make sense?
He’s my huckleberry. He’s always been my huckleberry, and he’ll always be my huckleberry. I find it very fitting that every time I arrive he has prepared for me a Doc Holiday, made with 360 Huckleberry Vodka.
This is A Tribe Called Red and you can find them on YouTube. This is a jam of a lot of their stuff mixed together and I am hoping my neighbor is enjoying the bass at 7:30 AM as I enjoy his ALL day and night long.
If you make it as far as Electric Pow Wow, you will hear how I feel about being called an Indian. I am Indigenous.
I work with a man from Cameroom, Africa. He heard some of my “modern” Indigenous music and he really liked it so I am gathering a bunch of really tribal flavored music for him. I like that A Tribe Called Red incorporated some African tribal as well. I am sure my friend will like this, once I convert all the video to .mp3 format so he can play it on his phone while he works.
Here he is working. He starts a half hour earlier than I start, so as I was setting up to start, I saw my chance to grab a pic…so I did. I sneak pictures of people working all the time, I hope to make a slide show for the X-mas party.
I am aware that when I go quiet, it is because there is much going on internally.
Right now, there is a lot going on with Mr. Yummy and with my spiritual journey and, I am good.
Happy Friday, maybe this weekend I will take the time to sit and write.
My sissy came to my work yesterday and marveled at the aroma of my beeswax filled world. This made me happy.
I just wanted to add something.
I just sent my sissy a text thanking her for coming by work and experiencing the place that brings me so much happiness and peace. I was telling her I love my minimum wage job, but the fact that it brings such peace and happiness really makes it a very valuable place for me to be…so it’s really not minimum wage if you see the actual value it adds to MY life. See, I believe money isn’t the MOST valuable currency.
Then, something happened.
I became Holly Hunter for a minute. Do you remember Broadcast News? Every morning, she set aside five minutes, and cried. The five-minute cry.
It wasn’t the controlled and timed neurotic melt-down she scheduled, but sometimes…I just feel like I need to set aside a few minutes of private each day to release the ” happy, happy, joy, joy!” moments that reverberate in my life.
OK so NOW…Happy Friday!
I wish I could hand you this feeling.
I know that dreaming is essential to sanity. When REM sleep is interrupted, people go insane. The brain needs that time to defrag and process the waking life.
But is the place of dreams real? Are those experiences just our life in another dimension? That place feels just as real as my waking life, but I know that reality, is just an “illusion” and that we have a greater hand in constructing this illusion, than we realize.
So what is this place of dreams, and what do my dreams from last nights, fitful, broken slumber mean?
I ask this, while having under my belt, at least 30 years of dream interpretations.
Does it just mean, today is one of the two’s birthday and I’m thinking of it all? Does it mean the other of two was thinking just as hard of me as I was dreaming of her?
I’m frightened of what I feel is coming, even though I have created this. I can scroll back to the post I wrote about it all.
One of the things that is starting to happen, now that I have been at the creating thing a few years, is that creations, create faster than when I first started.
I also told Mr. Yummy about the next step in my Spiritual Journey. I didn’t tell him that’s what it is, just like I’ve told you, the reader, the next step is coming, but I haven’t told you what the step is. I thought today was the day, but after last night, I woke and knew it is not today. I’m too caught up in my head now and wondering about this place where dreams happen. It felt so real and today my head knows it was “a dream” but my heart also knows that it, is feeling the emotion. The emotion wasn’t fake. It was real and exists.
I know one thing.
I have my next tattoo planned. I know the EXACT image, placements, and words. I think that this, will be the step after the next step. It’s all about doing and being